What’s up lately
Dealt with another rejection in life, an indirect one at least. i thought that this time at least this girl was the right one, and then again i just had to ask and get ignored again. well who could blame people for choosing to do so. this was yet another direct blow to me, actually went through depression where i kinda mia-ed for a week or two which i claimed was fever, just din’t want anybody feeling sympathy towards me or seeing me when i was at my most vulnerable, i really felt like killing myself but dropped the idea because it was just stupid.
few years ago, for the very first crush, it was exactly the same, me opening my mouth and everything just turning against me, like being smashed by car head on and there i am just lying on the ground.
2 weeks later ( still not really over this but who cares, not gonna fall for another that easily, or to put it simply put everything onto someone, the pain of being heartbroken is unbearable for me. It’s as if a whole chunk of my heart is just empty and i’m living as an empty vessel)
i really don’t know if i can get back on my feet from this ordeal, till today i’m still affected by this, i really cannot put dependence on anyone. it really sucks.
-wounds turns to scars, scars turn to bad memories.
i will never forget this feeling, of losing something so important, something built over time, just to be gone without any remorse, no regrets and no way of getting it back. just gone, and now i’m living in a world filled with emptiness.
